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Angela (Rachel Nichols) may be a hard-working modern woman who can handle any responsibility in her office, but she can’t handle her car breaking down on Christmas Eve. Unfortunately, she’s stayed so late that she’s the only person left in the building except for the security guards, which turns out to be really bad luck for her.
Thomas (Wes Bentley) hangs out in the security office in the parking garage
and doesn’t have any friends, but this year he’s hoping to get one for
Christmas. His elaborate plan involves picking the day when the building
is going to be closed for 3 days and counting on the fact that Angela will
be the last one leaving work. He offers to share his cute little Christmas
feast with her, but since Angela refuses the nice way, Thomas has to resort
to some violent stalker persuasion. He manages to get her all dressed up
in the outfit of his desires (way more revealing than Angela wears), but
she isn’t exactly thrilled about their cozy holiday "date" –
she has family waiting for her and besides, Thomas is a nutjob. Naturally,
she manages to escape the security office, but this just means she has
more places to hide and more places that her cell phone won’t work. Angela’s
a farm girl (thank goodness they point this out, otherwise we wouldn’t
believe she could handle this), so she’s tough enough to use the weapons
she finds, but is it going to be enough to get out of that garage alive?
Wes is sufficiently creepy for this part, and there are a couple of popcorn-throwing
moments, but everything about this movie is so cliché it’s almost
laughable (too bad you couldn’t at least enjoy it for its camp factor).
It’s the typical victim-turned-warrior film that we’re supposed to accept
because they showcase "empowered" women, but even that’s annoying
because they might let Angela be strong in certain areas, but she still
gets sexually harassed and she can’t drive to save her soul. Yes, driving
is tougher when you’re shackled and scared, but how can you drive down
a straight parking area and hit EVERYTHING in sight. She even manages to
flip her car in the garage – now that’s a bad lady driver.
There’s not much else to say about the movie. When that happens, there’s only one thing to do – Movie Chick Pop Quiz!
You know you’re a psycho when:
- Your dates require handcuffs and chloroform
- A nail file stabbed in your eye doesn’t make you give up your hope for
a goodnight kiss
- Your pet pooch is a crazy as you are
- You think love means never having to say you’re sorry for hitting you with
the taser.
How many times do you have to hit a guy with a car before he’s good and
dead?
- Once is enough
- Twice is enough, but more fun
- Three times is enough, but makes a better point
- As long as there’s a body part left to turn to mush, it’s best to keep
going.
The Elvis Christmas carols are a nice touch, but the words really should
be:
- I’ll have a blue Christmas... if you escape before we get our dessert
- Santa Baby... ho ho help!
- Tom’s nuts roasting on an open fire (this is funnier after you see the
movie).
Quickest way to spoil a date:
- Dress attire includes formal wear and chains
- Bring along your killer dog and a couple of dead guys (whatever happened
to flowers and chocolate)
- Taking her to see this movie.
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